Normally, my interest in anything LDS is on par with watching paint dry, so when I heard about the latest kerfuffle from “The Corporation of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints” (The Corp) my expectation was on par with past experiences. The bar was low. (Key to happiness btw, can be found in keeping expectations in check, but that’s another story for another day.)
But here’s the thing. I was wrong, and I’m actually quite pleased to be. Contrary to all the negative reactions to The Corp’s change in policy toward the children of LGBT families, this should be viewed with optimism, and here’s my reasoning for it.
My starting position, for those who are unfamiliar with me and my past arguments, is that religion is a pernicious meme, and more poignant and personally, The Corp is an institution that needs to be eroded from civilization. I am anti-theist. It’s not that I think there isn’t a supernatural deity (for the record, I do, and we should all stand in honor of his noodlyness), it’s that the physical manifestations of religion are empirically worse than a humanist-based civilization. (I can defend that position as well, but again, that’s not the point here).
So when The Corp announces that they would like to estrange and exclude certain people from their organization, especially those who are most vulnerable to, and let’s just call a spade a spade here, delusional ideologies and clinical indoctrination, I shout (3 times because I’m irreverent like that) hallelujah.
Moreover, when I read the transcript from Mr. Christofferson, that the change in policy “…originates from a desire to protect children in their innocence and in their minority years.” I nod in solemn agreement. We should hail this policy as a victory, and encourage The Corp to continue with the logical extension to not allow any children membership based on the same underlying concern for their protection. We don’t let 8 year-olds vote for the lowest of civic offices, why would we think they have the acumen to figure out if the FSM is real and Elohim is not?
Personally, as one who has dear friends and family who prefer alternative, victimless, none-of-my-business lifestyles, can I offer my opinion of how to respond? It’s not you, its them. They don’t want you in their fantasy world, and you know what, there are better, reality-based ideas and organizations with whom to spend your time and energy, and where the return on your efforts will be rewarded in spades.
To the children, including two of my own, who have been, or are now
denied access free from The Corp, now is the time to truly count your blessings. You are now spared the time of having to collect fast offerings, attend PEC meetings (do they even have those anymore?), go on awkward home teaching visits, and the greatest retention tool The Corp has ever devised… A mission. Take back your Sundays, invest your 10% in your college savings plan, get your homework done or play Minecraft for a few extra hours (but only after your homework is done).
To those members with whom this issue has generated internal conflict sufficient to spur you to resign from The Corp, we congratulate you on joining a winning team, where you can always believe the best ideas for the best reasons. Religion and Science are in a zero-sum conflict, and science has an overwhelming lead, enjoy basking in further light and knowledge.
The Corp has done the best thing for our friends and family. Sure there is going to be some heartache, pain, travail and sorrow. But life is kinda like that, and anyone who tells you otherwise is probably selling something.