“I feel like I don’t fit in anywhere” is a common feeling expressed by transitioning Mormons. Thomas McKonkie, author of Navigating Mormon Faith Crisis, and Kristy discuss this emotion more fully and how sitting with the pain and uncertainty leads to growth. It’s a birthing process that leads us to the person we were meant to become. This state–and the pain associated with shedding one identity and transforming into something new post-awakening–can be painful and we talk about noticing this pain and letting it inform us about ourselves and what we are becoming. We also throw around some practical ideas for individuals and families who want to deal with this in-between state in productive ways, for example establishing new rituals like a celebration/party (rather than something to dread/not talk about) when you, a loved one, or a child begins their faith awakening or belief transition. For some, claiming an identity like post-mormon, MoNoMo, or ethnic/cultural mormon are an important part of the healing process. For others, some of those labels don’t really fit at the moment or it doesn’t feel authentic to claim any at this point in time and so both Mormon and Ex-Mormon for example don’t feel like home and it’s a confusing place to be in. You’re not alone, and every journey is different: what’s important is you listen to your inner voice and let this inform your next steps. Only you know what’s best for you
Check out Thomas’ New podcast through KSL, Mindfulness+
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Dr. Michael Findley, professor at the University of Texas at Austin, worked at BYU before landing his dream job, complete with unlimited access to Torchy’s Tacos food truck. 🙂 He candidly shares his experiences working at BYU while undergoing a faith transition. He also offers practical advice and concrete considerations for anyone considering graduate school (even if you’re not sold on academia, this is still good to know as BYU keep tabs on and actively recruits LDS masters and PhDs). For anyone who has already been hired by a church school and is having a difficult time, and/or battling cognitive dissonance, Dr. Findley also gives some practical advice about how to move on to a better-fitting job. This episode feels timely especially since BYU has been in national news defending how their honor code openly discriminates against gay and trans students, and it looks like this is a hill church leaders are ready to die on (regardless of Big 12 status). Such a trajectory might be unsettling for a lot of employees.
Links mentioned in this podcast:
Bill Reel on Tithing
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The Open Stories Foundation has teamed up with Melanie Van Orden, Natasha Helfer Parker, and Dr. Kristy Money to create a one-day retreat for Post Mormon women in NYC. This retreat will take place on October 14th, immediately prior to the upcoming Mormon Transitions Retreat in New York City.
We are providing these additional retreat sessions because of the growing need for spaces that serve the particular needs of women and woman-aligned nonbinary folks as they transition away from Mormonism. We will be discussing Post Mormon sexuality, identity and career issues, and navigating relationships with believing family and friends.
WHO: Women who are cultural Mormons, transitioning out of the LDS church, ExMormon, or Post Mormon. This retreat is also appropriate for woman-aligned nonbinary individuals who meet the same criteria.
WHERE: Spectrum NYC at 121 Ludlow St #2, New York, NY 10002.
WHEN: October 14, 2016, from 10am – 4pm.
HOW TO REGISTER: The cost to register is $30/person. Lodging not included.
- Part 1 of Registration: Click here to register via PayPal.
- Part 2 of Registration: Complete this registration form.
Please send all questions to: mormontransitions@gmail.com.
Join Kristy and active Mormon researcher/author Jana Riess as they discuss in more detail her NPR interview on the shift many are making as the result of their faith crises/awakenings from orthodox to cultural Mormon. Jana is analyzing data on how different generations of Mormons are self-identifying and what the future may hold for how people talk about their culture or heritage, that it’s much more complex than active/inactive or ex-Mormon, staying or leaving, there really are an infinite variety of ways people who grew up and/or at some point were very orthodox can self-identify now (#culturalmormon, #postmormon, #retiredmormon, #cafeteriamormon #heritagemormon, #progressivemormon, #wokemormon, #mormoninaformerlife, #catholicmormon, #none, #exmormon). We talk about letting go of the very real and understandable fear of bringing one’s authentic self to our communities in moments of vulnerability and letting the chips fall where they may–how doing so can inform our next steps.
Links mentioned in this article:
Jana Riess’ Blog post on being “in-between”
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